✍🏻 4 Squares

i.e., ⬛️ ⬛️ ⬛️ ⬛️

Not an hour passes,

Nor even a minute,

Without thinking of you.

  I run now with my youngest son
  For fun him, for me, to get numb
  I run to escape from my brain
  God knows the futile endless strain
  Herculean I’ll be ’til slain
  There’s lung n rib pain all in vain.

  I yearn in the depths of turmoil
  For being without you is hell
  I yearn for you to want me still
  God knows I’ll strain my every will
  Herculean I’ll be until,
  The final act brings a standstill.

  I do beg you long to respond
  For you to only acknowledge
  I am begging you to react
  God knows I desire your counter
  Herculean ’til your return
  The pain is mine for your answer.

  I crave more than life a reply
  For you the stars, just to comply
  I felt guilt for what I here imply
  God knows I want this thing simply
  Herculean? Weeping deeply
  There’s ache waiting for your reply.

  For all this adversity
  Only the moon
  Relies on

I am trying to find some semblance of solace from reading and this, I found interesting:

From, The Art of Caring Less
Extract from, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.

This need to be adored is a fundamental weakness.

The Guardian was one of my and your browser homepage tabs, you loved flowers, really you did. I think now of the fragrance by Victoria’s Secrets, “English Rose.”

🌹 🥀

The TLS, The Times Literary Supplement, is all about books; I was, you are (no doubt you’ve the biggest intelligent collection in your whole village/town; no doubt at all). New Scientist, how we did discuss evolution and the circadian clock e t c , e t c (see and see). The Spectator, oh Brexit, we did that (see) and we did do politics too (see and see).

I’ll Be a Monkey’s Uncle

To be surprised, amazed or in utter disbelief (about someone or something).

In the 19th c., Charles Darwin shared his theory of evolution from apes and, to say the least, many people did not agree with him. As a consequence, the phrase “I’ll be a monkey’s uncle” began to be used in a sarcastic way by both believers and non-believers.

And then, there’s that sand, the nights on the Arabian peninsula (Pink Panther and a red blanket), my heart shatters, bare feet on the cooling late evening sand, white sandals in hand. Mr Smokey… where in heaven or hell are you now? You were a harbinger a precursor in fact to all the world’s pleasures and all the world’s pains.


✍🏻 3 by 3


  U 2 me
  Really R

Can one truly be in love without being consumed by it?

Can one truly love someone without wanting to own them?

I submit to you that the answers are “no” and “no.”

Can two people be equally passionately in love with each other?

To this my provisional answer is that while snowflakes might appear the same, at the molecular level it is virtually impossible for any two to be the same; so:

“‘virtually’ but not ‘totally’ impossible.”

The line dividing sane and insane really is ever so fine:

The Tell-Tale Heart

TRUE!-nervous—very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses—not destroyed—not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily—how calmly I can tell you the whole story.

read it all.

Imagination vs. Science

To Helen

Helen, thy beauty is to me
Like those Nicéan barks of yore,
That gently, o’er a perfumed sea,
The weary, way-worn wanderer bore
To his own native shore.

On desperate seas long wont to roam,
Thy hyacinth hair, thy classic face,
Thy Naiad airs have brought me home
To the glory that was Greece,
And the grandeur that was Rome.

Lo! in yon brilliant window-niche
How statue-like I see thee stand,
The agate lamp within thy hand!
Ah, Psyche, from the regions which
Are Holy-Land!

— Edgar Allan Poe

✍🏻 2 2 Tango

  When rift did cleave our deep intimacy
  I kept my fears at bay determinedly
  I felt time would heal us gradually
  I let it tick and tock digitally.

  Then, hours became days & my fears flared
  My moody baby’s rendered me blacklisted
  My lady lovely, has rendered me blocked
  My body became tense and tormented.

  Then, the fears did grow to be fully fledged
  The flight’s so stark and highly escalated
  The plight’s pure torture, I lie paralysed
  The light’s very low, it’s almost faded.

  But to concede defeat I cannot do;
  For you’re my 💖 and thus I must pursue.

I carry you everywhere I go

I hear you everywhere I go

I see you everywhere I go

p.s. The phrase, it takes two to tango, implies a situation in which two people are paired in an inextricably-related manner.

p.p.s. The film, Last Tango in Paris can no longer be comfortably viewed as artistic erotica, see, e.g.,:
New Yorker
Revisiting Bertolucci’s artistic ambitions and abuses in Last Tango in Paris
Richard Brody
The disturbing story behind Bertolucci’s Last Tango in Paris, explained
Anna North

Sex and Punishment
Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire
Eric Berkowitz

✍🏻 1+1=1

11:11 (mine’s made)

  My reason for Being is you
  & it’s Nothingness without you.

In love, one and one are one.

— Jean-Paul Sartre

No one is more arrogant toward women than the man who is anxious about his virility.

— Simone de Beauvoir

The phrase, “love kills” sounds like an emotional over exaggeration. It is. It is until the day your true love leaves you that is. Only then will the phrase be seen as a valid statement of fact. (It is bitterly ironic that you’ll almost certainly not know that they were and ‘are’ your true love until they’ve gone and left you.)

I’ll argue here that ‘true’ love—love of the passionate & romantic kind—can only be experienced once in a lifetime. I’ll also argue that it is almost always our own actions that result in true love being lost.

It is invariably the case that in passionate romantic relationships, we turn the person that we love into an object. This ‘object’ is not only a projection of what we think that person wants to be but also, a reaction to our own insecurities and repressed desires. We try not to, but we end up trying to control our lover. We try not to, but we end up trying to shape our lover. We adopt a different persona to be what we think they want us to be and, we try also to be who we ourselves really want to (but can never actually) be.

Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre argue that these are the reasons for why truly passionate relationships almost always fail. Indeed, one of their central philosophical arguments is that we, as post-faith humans, need to come to terms with the fact that we ourselves are responsible for the consequences of our actions (e.g., the hurtful and horrible words we type and send).

Inescapably, our actions in acts of passion and love are our own. We cannot blame destiny, fate or some form of invisible hand that mysteriously controls us from above. The guilt trips, ego trips and insane irrational jealousies are of our own making. Our self-centred, short-term actions can, and often do, have long-run catastrophic consequences.

Does, as some have argued, knowledge of this agency and responsibility help us deal with our true love leaving us? I’ll say no. Indeed, knowing just how big a role our own actions played, makes the situation even more heart wrenching; the what ifs are rendered less abstract. Had we acted differently (e.g., shown more appreciation and understanding), we’d likely not have lost them in the first place.

I believe that true love can only be experienced once because all previous experiences of love pale to nothing in the aftermath of losing your true love. I believe that true love can only be experienced once because no alternative or future love can be contemplated in the everlasting aftermath of your true love leaving you.

The way true love kills us is unique for unlike other modes of death it keeps us alive to experience the depths of despair and desperation on a daily basis. We are condemned to this undying death minute by minute, endlessly and perpetually. This mode of death is all the worse for knowing that, had we acted differently, we would most probably still be hand in hand and side by side with our retrospectively realised One&Only.

From you to me
Our eyes locked. They locked for far longer than was culturally appropriate.
From me to you
These were consumed. They were consumed with the lights on and, with the lights off.

p.s. To grasp and pay heed to the logic of de Beauvoir and Sartre would be of real benefit to those who have yet to find true love.

La Ville Lumière

💀 The dead control the living.

There are various influential French philosophers and the following are amongst the most prominent /

In no particular order /

René Descartes
In his seminal work, Discourse on Method, Descartes defined thought as the essential human quality — “I think, therefore I am” — and sets out one of the key characteristics of the French style of thinking: the deductive mode of reasoning. That is, one which starts with a general, abstract proposition and then works towards a specific conclusion.

The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest minds of past centuries.

The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues.

Except our own thoughts, there is nothing absolutely in our power.

Voltaire was an outspoken advocate of civil liberties, despite the risk this placed him in under the strict censorship laws of the time. Voltaire believed above all in the efficacy of reason. He believed social progress could be achieved through reason and that no authority — religious or political or otherwise — should be immune to challenge by reason. Voltaire frequently made use of his works to criticise intolerance and religious dogma.

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.

Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Rousseau’s writings on human freedom, equality, popular sovereignty and the return to nature challenged the social and political conventions of 18th‑century French society, and founded the radical republican tradition. His Discourse on Inequality and The Social Contract are cornerstones in modern political and social thought.

The world of reality has its limits; the world of imagination is boundless.

Nature never deceives us; it is we who deceive ourselves.

Jules Michelet
Greatest French historian of his time, whose blistering account of the French revolution dwelled on the importance of emotions, myths and symbols; he championed the cause of “the people”, arguing that history is decisively shaped by the interventions of the masses.

He who would confine his thought to present time will not understand present reality.

Jean-Paul Sartre
Sartre confronted all the powerful institutions of his time (the bourgeois state, the Communist party, the university system); his writings on existentialism and Marxism in the post-second world war decades marked the pinnacle of the French traditions of republican universalism and philosophical radicalism.

When the rich wage war it’s the poor who die.

Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.

Simone de Beauvoir
Simone de Beauvoir was well versed in philosophy, politics and social issues. Her seminal work was The Second Sex (1949), which drew on existentialist philosophy to offer a ground-breaking account of women’s oppression. It is a pivotal contribution to modern feminism.

No one is more arrogant toward women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious about his virility.

All oppression creates a state of war.

Claude Lévi-Strauss
An ethnologist who became the most important exponent of structuralism, a philosophical movement that challenged the linearity of Cartesian rationalism by questioning its assumptions about progress and the fixed nature of meaning, and stressing the importance of dissonances and the unconscious in human thinking.

The scientist is not a person who gives the right answers, [they are] one who asks the right questions.

Michel Foucault
Foucault’s theories primarily address the relationship between power and knowledge, and how they are used as a form of social control through societal institutions. His work explored the ways in which modern societies imposed various forms of intellectual and physical control on their citizens, ranging from dominant norms and coercive state controls to medical and sexual practices.

What desire can be contrary to nature since it was given to [us] by nature itself.

Liberté, Equalité, Fraternité

✍🏻 To My Love

  We were oh so cute
  Hand in hand over the moon
  Now I‘m destitute.

  We were on cloud nine
  Together in harmony
  Now alone I pine.

  Janus faced, no not her
  A truly open book, this is her
  Woeful, no that ain’t her
  A positive person, this is her
  Horrible, no not her
  Enabler of happiness, that’s her
  Right now, I’m wanting her.

End Game?

again, history repeats.

Some have at first for wits, then poets pass’d.  // Turn’d critics next, and proved plain fools at last.


    A longing I felt
    for far too long.
    One that had my
    soul dream of
    comforting it’s
    blistering frost,
    with no more
    than wrapping
    itself around
    your warm body.

— Mustafa Tatan